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27 September 2010 @ 04:47 pm
Top Ten Reasons to Ban Fantasy Books  
10. Because you want to stifle unsightly examples of imagination.

9.   Because you waited for years to find the magic portal into another world only to find you are as normal as a Muggle.

8.   Because you can't stand the idea that kids' might learn to think out of the box.

7.   Because you're trying to get your name passed around the internet via shock value so you can finally have your fifteen minutes of fame.

6.   Because a unicorn attacked you when you were only three, and you still have nightmares about it.

5.  Because someone else already got those other books banned.

4.  Because you think children should have to learn through experimentation in the real world, since books are just way too safe.

3.  You don't want to have to read any of that stuff and have to discuss it with them afterwards.

2.  You have to get your town on the map somehow.

And the number one reason you would ban a fantasy book:

1.  An evil vampire used his glamour on you, so that no more of his secrets will be leaked in the human world.
 
 
 
anesbetanesbet on September 28th, 2010 12:02 am (UTC)
An evil version of myself would ban fantasy books so I could rush in and CONFISCATE them from everywhere and HAVE THEM ALL TO MYSELF TO READ.

signed,
Very Bad Anne
Lisa Greenlisagailgreen on September 28th, 2010 04:09 am (UTC)
Oooh I LOVE that one!
wanderingdreamr: kobatowanderingdreamr on September 28th, 2010 02:31 am (UTC)
6. Because a unicorn attacked you when you were only three, and you still have nightmares about it.

Pretty sure that was in a fantasy book somewhere (not the book banning part however). Very amusing list!
Lisa Greenlisagailgreen on September 28th, 2010 04:10 am (UTC)
Hey - great minds, right? :D Glad you enjoyed it!
cindy_poncindy_pon on September 28th, 2010 03:21 am (UTC)
Because the elves are always so scantily dressed.
cindy_poncindy_pon on September 28th, 2010 03:21 am (UTC)
and haha! lisa, these were great!!
Lisa Greenlisagailgreen on September 28th, 2010 04:10 am (UTC)
Can't trust those elves. I think they're in on the great gnome conspiracy. Glad you liked it Cindy!
Zoe Marriottredzolah on September 28th, 2010 06:37 am (UTC)
Because people in fantasy books are always dedicating their lives to honour, love and truth, and you want your kids to be lawyers (and pay for your retirement in Malibu).

You know, this whole list is an example of how reading fantasy books will turn our young people into dangerously frivolous and free-thinking adults, who might turn around and laugh at us one day. Thank God for that...
Lisa Greenlisagailgreen on September 28th, 2010 02:33 pm (UTC)
I take that as the highest compliment!
Zoe Marriottredzolah on September 28th, 2010 02:37 pm (UTC)
Good - it was meant to be!
Nisha Amanda WardNisha Amanda Ward on September 28th, 2010 08:16 am (UTC)
Haha. People also like to ban books if witches turn them into little old ladies when they were teenagers.
Lisa Greenlisagailgreen on September 28th, 2010 02:34 pm (UTC)
Hmm, there's some psychology in that one too, isn't there? ;) I like it!!
ebooraem on September 28th, 2010 03:09 pm (UTC)
Because you are a horcrux.
Lisa Greenlisagailgreen on September 28th, 2010 03:18 pm (UTC)
Love it!
Lena Goldfinch: The New Novel - ebooklena_writes on September 28th, 2010 03:39 pm (UTC)
Fun list! Thanks, Lisa! :)
Lisa Greenlisagailgreen on September 28th, 2010 03:48 pm (UTC)
Glad we could have some fun!
hilaribellhilaribell on September 28th, 2010 03:45 pm (UTC)
Because fantasy frequently deals with embarassing, old-fashioned values like honor--and we certainly can't have our kids (soon to be Malibu lawyers) thinking about things like that. If they do, they might start looking for it in other people. People like...politicians. (No, we definitely can't have that.)
Lisa Greenlisagailgreen on September 28th, 2010 03:49 pm (UTC)
Love it!! Lawyers and politicians could take over the world... *shivers*
keelyinkster on September 28th, 2010 04:18 pm (UTC)
Banned books
And don't forget - because I don't want to have to share my vast collection of banned books and have my child feel in any way empowered by them!!

Great post, Lisa - I would say fun post if it wasn't that some people actually do want to ban books!
Lisa Greenlisagailgreen on September 28th, 2010 04:21 pm (UTC)
Re: Banned books
Yes, I know what you mean. It frustrates me greatly. Particularly the recent events with SPEAK, even though I know that isn't fantasy.
lynlatham on September 28th, 2010 04:27 pm (UTC)
Fairies and brownies
Because each on of these are so elusive and you can never trust brownies.

And I agree with with previous posts too. Lawyers and politicians - we already have too many of both! So bring on more fantasy.
Lisa Greenlisagailgreen on September 28th, 2010 04:36 pm (UTC)
Re: Fairies and brownies
Those brownies are slippery. Almost as slippery as politicians.
(Deleted comment)
Lisa Greenlisagailgreen on September 28th, 2010 04:49 pm (UTC)
Glad you read on!! I tend to be a tad sarcastic sometimes.
E. F. Danehyefdanehy on September 28th, 2010 05:27 pm (UTC)
Because fantasy isn't "real," whereas all other fiction is real.

(Someone actually suggested that to me as a reason for challenging fantasy a few weeks ago. *dies*)

Love this list!
Lisa Greenlisagailgreen on September 28th, 2010 05:31 pm (UTC)
Frightening. Not sure which is worse. The idea that Fantasy isn't "real." Or that "FICTION" is. Hmm. My mind is reeling.
Rae Carsonraecarson on September 28th, 2010 05:42 pm (UTC)
Ha! Great list. :)

Also: Reading fantasy books might lead to girls thinking they can be kick-ass. OH NOES!
Lisa Greenlisagailgreen on September 28th, 2010 05:44 pm (UTC)
Sadly that depends on which book we're talking about. Guess they wouldn't ban those other ones though, huh?
Rae Carsonraecarson on September 28th, 2010 05:45 pm (UTC)
Yeah, probably not.
thunderchikin on September 28th, 2010 05:49 pm (UTC)
Because 'fantasy' and 'elf' should never be used in the same sentence.
(Anonymous) on September 29th, 2010 02:32 am (UTC)
Because kids might start believing that wonderful, unexplained things really can and do happen.
nancyholdernancyholder on September 29th, 2010 02:33 am (UTC)
whoops
that comment above was mine!
Lisa Greenlisagailgreen on September 29th, 2010 03:09 am (UTC)
LOL
Lisa Greenlisagailgreen on September 29th, 2010 03:10 am (UTC)
Thunder - very funny.

Nancy - Frightening possibility. I may have nightmares!
jen_wrote_this on September 29th, 2010 03:51 am (UTC)
Loved it!
My favorite is #6. We just couldn't have that now, could we?
Lisa Greenlisagailgreen on September 29th, 2010 03:56 am (UTC)
Re: Loved it!
Thanks. Yes, #6 is a favorite of mine as well.
sruble on September 29th, 2010 04:54 am (UTC)
Excellent post Lisa! Love your top ten, especially # 9 and 6.
Lisa Greenlisagailgreen on September 29th, 2010 04:56 am (UTC)
Thanks, Stephanie! Those were certainly fun to write.
ext_249967 on September 29th, 2010 01:54 pm (UTC)
you work for the airline industry
No armchair tourists allowed - travel to distant and maybe not even Earthly worlds through BOOKS?? Bah! Spend alot of money, take off your shoes, sit in a REALLY small seat - the only way to trip the light fantastic.
(fabulous post! *grin* Sayantani storiesaregoodmedicine.blogspot.com)
Lisa Greenlisagailgreen on September 29th, 2010 02:44 pm (UTC)
Re: you work for the airline industry
Excellent addition, Sayantani!
ext_270714 on September 29th, 2010 04:02 pm (UTC)
Because fantasy authors are those geeky types who never got invited to beer-can-crushing vomit parties, and you don't want to be one of them, now, do you?

Lisa Greenlisagailgreen on September 29th, 2010 04:08 pm (UTC)
LOL, yeah, you wouldn't want to get caught hanging out with the wrong crowd.
margoberendsen.blogspot.com on October 1st, 2010 08:29 pm (UTC)
Ah yes, killer unicorns. Reminds me, I still want to read Rampant, though I'm scared, it will blow all my unicorn misconceptions.

But seriously: this one will struck me "You don't want to have to read any of that stuff and have to discuss it with them [kids] afterwards."

Jeesh. Has any one noticed lately some of the Bible stories that we read to our children? The Bible has all sorts of scary, weird, controversial stories. Which leads me to think that kids really do learn good things from reading stories that aren't "safe." Stories that get them thinking.
Lisa Greenlisagailgreen on October 1st, 2010 09:37 pm (UTC)
Hey! That is a GREAT point! Thank you.